Becoming An Observer of Self. How to Pendulate Intense & Big Emotions

Mother Earth has been a steady teacher in my somatic work. Pendulation, an SE method, reminds me of how She holds opposites — chaos and calm, strength and softness — and how I, too, can hold both and still be okay.

Pendulation is a powerful and gentle practice within Somatic Experiencing (SE), it’s moving between states of discomfort or activation and states of comfort and safety. It’s very much like creating an internal rhythm between tension and ease, an inner sway of states, which helps the nervous system discharge/release stuck energy and restore regulation.

Mother Earth is constantly demonstrating pendulation. 

During the winter the inlet we live on was completely frozen over. Though the open water was steadfast when looking out, waves flowed and gently pressed against the ice’s edge: tension and ease.

Using the imagery of a roaring brook has granted me direction and ease — alive with beauty and abundance yet shaped by the fears and blocks that live within me. I’ve come to see my life as a continuous, living current — one that moves with courage and grace, weaving around boulders of resistance, flowing through tangled roots of old stories, and nourishing the fertile ground of becoming.

Pendulation has helped me feel this movement — not as something I must force, but as something already happening within me, waiting to be witnessed and trusted.

Lately, I've been experiencing anxiety more often. There are layers — personal shifts, and collective unrest. And I’ve noticed I’m not alone.

So, I felt called to share how I work with pendulation and the ways it's been gently anchoring me:

It’s a way of moving between discomfort and ease, a rhythm that reminds the body it can return to safety, again and again.

When I feel tension in my chest or tightness in my back, I ask myself to pause and check in with a part of my body that feels more neutral or even pleasant—like warmth in my hands, the support of my chair, or even the weight of my water bottle.

After spending a moment there, I am able to return to the sensation in my back – and I do so with care and briefly before I come back again to the support of my chair. The chair is my resourced sensation. This gentle sway back and forth, pendulation, helps the nervous system titrate the activation without overwhelming it.

Another example. My shoulders are tense, raised, and locked near my ears and my breath goes shallow. When I notice my tense shoulders or the slight absence of my breath, I’ll place a hand to my heart and the other to my belly, and notice my feet.

How they are on the ground, my toes, the weight in my heels, the curve of the soul of the foot…bringing my focus to something that is grounded and connected. Then my attention comes back to the physical tension for a moment. I’m not diving in, I’m noticing and acknowledging it. My breath deepens as I return to my groundedness. My shoulders have softened and my breath is back.

The intention of pendulation isn’t to avoid the hard stuff – it’s to help the body learn that it can return to safety. This method builds capacity or resilience (or window of tolerance), allowing us to stay more present and regulated over time, even in the face of discomfort.

If the emotion is embodied, meaning more of the body is involved in the emotional experience, not only does the emotion become more regulated, but so does our ability to live more regulated.

I am here.

xx, My high love, Tiffany