Breaking Patterns

A dear friend of mine recently quoted Albert Einstein and it brought forward exactly what’s been on my heart. Mr. Einstein said; “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” OK, fair enough, possibly a few variations within the results will appear; however, it seems to make complete sense. This "insanity" is so normal that it’s not really insanity as much as it’s just who we are or who we’ve allowed ourselves to become.

Before we continue, let’s first take a minute for self-appreciation. Each of us have been through many personal challenges that helped with growth and brought us into the person we are today. Appreciate your persistence in moving through these challenges and how you did not let these challenges prevent you from moving forward to be sculpted into the beauty of who are you now. We all deserve to be whole and deserve to receive the healing needed to live a life filled with good health, joy and love.

As we journey through time, we are gaining tools to live a harmonious life. Emotional and physical challenges appear as we are led to explore the depths of our inner garden. The key here is being aware of the tools and gathering them along the way. Being of witness to our life lessons so to not find ourselves back at the same starting point. The same starting point presenting the same journey, with the same lessons, with the same struggles; just slightly different characters and scenarios from the last.

Despite our best efforts to be and do different, we get up each morning and find ourselves thinking, behaving, and feeling the same way we did yesterday—and the days, months, and years before that. Have you ever wondered why? Why we so often are drawn to the same kind of destructive relationships? Why we self-sabotage? Why we keep drinking too much or keep making bad financial decisions when we are trying so hard to change?

When I first took the leap to be a full time business owner, I was called to be a coach in the wellness and nutrition field. It was just eight months after closely working with clients that I realized that my clients were doing their best to break a pattern they’ve grown tired of. I was hearing their deepest fears and emotional pains. I was feeling their embedded self-doubts behind the “this time I am going to come out on top” type statements. My heart crumbled realizing that our work together was only touching the surface of the real “why” they were on this familiar path yet again. A year in as a coach I knew that I needed to go deeper with my work. I am not here to only support surface level. And I knew, I myself needed to dig deeper in my life so I could in-turn help others dig deeper.

Bringing forward and connecting with our higher-self, unconscious and subconscious states, allows us to address the true reason why we are on repeat mode. The subconscious mind is a container for the unwanted, and frightening aspects of our lives—feelings, thoughts, and experiences that can be so difficult to face consciously. The mind (ego) protects itself from such perceived dangers by burying them in the subconscious for safe-keeping. I’ve always known this as suppression. I use to joke about how good I was at keeping it all shoved down in there. Until I realized that these experiences and emotions are still very much alive. My suppression was my jail of patterns and emotional blocks. The subconscious becomes a grave filled with living beings of painful and traumatic events. What gets buried there isn’t dead. It still has its say and its demands. When ignored it dictates our actions, emotions, responses, choices in life, success and failures.

I was raised by two very strong, intelligent, loving and generous people. Two individuals, just like most of us, who constantly fought their personal pains and fears. Unfortunately, trapped in a pattern, they expressed their pain and fear by way of physically and emotionally abusing one another. After a while it was like watching a washer on the spin cycle, it didn’t matter if a new load of laundry was put in; it was on the same cycle. As a child living in that environment, I believed that's what fierce love looked like. Until I was out of the house and living on my own - navigating my own relationships. My first long-term boyfriend and I had a physical fight one evening, it didn’t feel like things were going wrong…it actually felt very familiar. Until he mounted me, pegged my arms down with his knees, and proceeded to choke me. In the moment just before blacking out, my higher-self appeared right before me and said, “you don’t have to live like this, you can make your own rules.” My roommate saved my life that day and I never repeated that relationship pattern again. Lesson learned. Oh, sigh, only if all my lessons were that cut and dry! However, seeing my higher-self come forward and connect with me like that was profound! I still hold onto that moment of connection and it continues to inspire me to dive deeper and deeper within.

This is why our connection with ourselves is so incredibly valuable. We get to create our wellness environment within ourselves. We get to tap in and connect, whenever we want, and tune in to our whys, our deepest needs, and truest desires. Literally, just like that, it’s up to us. Honoring and nurturing our relationship with SELF is and should always be top priority. Everything else literally falls into place when we have this strong connection with self. We are then able to identify our yes and no; we are then resilient to the stress and anxiety; fears and self-worth debris presented every day.

I’ve read that Albert Einstein would lay down and wait for inspirational ideas or answers to appear. That approach (meditation) was when his best work would present itself. Through connection with self and even source! We want to change; we must begin our transformation from within. In order to bring the unconscious and subconscious to our forefront we must dig within. Day by day what we once thought was inaccessible becomes suddenly available to the everyday. Nurturing the relationship with self becomes a whole new level of mastery, effectively raising awareness and then your potential. Limiting patterns and blocks fall away and you’re able to take large meaningful leaps to fulfilling your heart.

Try it. Sit with yourself, set a timer, allow yourself to let go of ego (the annoying busy noise that tends to consume us) and allow yourself to receive. Setting the intention of “I release all thoughts and allow myself to receive.” Sometimes I see my ego drain from my physical body like a full cup of water with a hole at the bottom…watching the water (ego) drain all the way down and out through my feet. I then state that I am open to receiving guidance from the highest form of love and light. In the beginning I struggled to do this even for a few minutes, now I set my timer for 45 mins. I journal all messages, symbols, colors, and words received and carry that with me as I navigate my days. The time dedicate and your intention is very personal and unique to you. However you may feel called to connect to your truest form - nurture the heck out of it. Love on it like you've never loved before.

I hope this was helpful in even a small way. The value of nurturing the relationship with self is invaluable.

My love and light to you

XO T